Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
