This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
