So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
