All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
