please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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