i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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