Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
