ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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