a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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