I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
