There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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