My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
