Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
