Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
