I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
two words...techno handjob
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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