I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
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