what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
