The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize