just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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