there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
