Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
