how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
