I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sobbing to NWA
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
