That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
