belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
