I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
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Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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