your parents love me but you hate me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
