Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (3513)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
  Replies (65) Good night (950) Bad night (8920)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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  (812): I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is. http://tfl.nu/2rnr
  Replies (11) Good night (1522) Bad night (4756)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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  (519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8
  Replies (10) Good night (2717) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.

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  (402): She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/qnwu
  Replies (4) Good night (2150) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.

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  (952): Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me. http://tfl.nu/t30r
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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  (520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2019) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

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  (925): i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/zp0f
  Replies (3) Good night (1345) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2949) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.

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  (719): Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming. http://tfl.nu/flfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1589) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it

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  (570): Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it http://tfl.nu/gvlt
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

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  (614): I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help. http://tfl.nu/pypk
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill

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  (507): Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill http://tfl.nu/0ptc
  Replies (4) Good night (429) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  (775): You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule (1-775): Thats your rule and this car is nice http://tfl.nu/6eo6
  Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.

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  (727): It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood. http://tfl.nu/vd60
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (235)

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