Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

and what kinds of feelings would these be?

(586): View more from Michigan

Happy, horny, occasionally hungry

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(801): View more from Utah

i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(989): View more from Michigan

I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him

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(505): View more from New Mexico

The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.

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