i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE