I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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