Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.

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(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(954): View more from Florida

i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

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(334): View more from Alabama

This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

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(210): View more from Texas

It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to

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