their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.