I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
