wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
