I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize