I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
