Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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