should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
