As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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