you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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