the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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