with your own penis?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
