Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
