i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
