do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
