The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
