At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
