I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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