im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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