Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
