i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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