So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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