A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
