And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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