Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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