9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
