Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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