Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Randomize
