when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
