party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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